Randall Carlito Simon
- Bats Left, Throws Left
- Height 6' 0", Weight 180-245 lb.
- High School Juan Pablo Duarte School (Curacao)
- Debut September 1, 1997
- Final Game September 30, 2006
- Born May 25, 1975 in Willemstad, Curaçao
Randall Simon was born in Curacao, the small Dutch protectorate in the Caribbean, and hails from the same hometown as Curacao's most famous ballplayer, Andruw Jones. As a Dutch subject, Simon, along with Sidney Ponson, was knighted by Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands on August 7, 2003.
Simon is best remembered not for his on-field play, but for his involvement in a particularly embarrassing situation in 2003. While in Milwaukee, WI playing the Brewers, Simon jokingly struck a young lady dressed in a sausage costume with his bat during the between-innings sausage race at Miller Park. He was arrested and paid a $432.10 fine for disorderly conduct, drawing a 3 game suspension and $2,000 fine from MLB as well. The clip was a much bandied about item on ESPN and sports programming for several days.
Simon had earlier achieved notoriety as the victim of one of John Rocker's racist comments, when the Braves pitcher called Simon a "Fat Monkey."
He was voted team MVP of the Detroit Tigers in 2002. After being traded away by the Pittsburgh Pirates in 2003, he platooned at first base with Eric Karros for the Chicago Cubs as the team made its ill-fated playoff run. Simon batted an impressive .333 during the postseason, but did not remain with the Cubs after their NLCS defeat at the hands of the Florida Marlins. The Pirates re-signed him in 2004, a move that was widely criticized by the team's fans.
In 2005, Simon left the majors and starred in the Mexican League. Playing for the Potros de Tijuana, Simon had one of the league's longest hitting streaks and batted .363/.393/.634 with 19 homers and 71 RBI in 64 games. Due to his superb performance, the Orix Buffaloes of Japan came calling. Simon struggled with Orix, hitting just .213/.288/.213 in 16 games, and by the next season he was back with Tijuana to join Derrick White and George Arias as a formidable trio of foreign sluggers.
Simon represented the Netherlands in the 2006 World Baseball Classic, hitting .300/.300/.300 in three contests. Shortly thereafter, he was signed by the Texas Rangers to a minor league contract. After some visa problems, he joined the Rangers' Triple A team in Oklahoma. In September 2006, he was acquired by the Philadelphia Phillies and made his first major league appearance since 2004.
Simon was just 3 for 21 with two walks as the Dutch 1B in the 2009 World Baseball Classic. He failed to score or drive in any runs despite hitting in the heart of the order.