“Have I got a preposition for you!”
Posted by John Autin on July 20, 2011
Come on up out from under over there!
Let's briefly set aside the stats and try a little whimsy.
Tigers LHP Duane Below, making his MLB debut tonight, needs a nickname. I'll get the ball rolling with a couple of obvious suggestions:
- Duane "Look Out" Below
- Duane "He's Got the Fire Down" Below
- Duane "Wind-Chill Twenty" Below (he is from Michigan)
I'm sure you limber linguists can top my feeble phrases. Let's see what you've got!
July 20th, 2011 at 8:34 pm
as a white sox fan, i hope it eventually becomes something like
duane "damn, his ERA+" below.
a little slangy, but whatever
July 20th, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Does he throw a sinker?
Duane "Pitches Will" Below
July 20th, 2011 at 9:13 pm
I can't think of anything that tops Look Out. That would truly be one of the all time great nicknames. The only issue I have is as a Tiger fan, it's a little to close to sounding like it belongs with Walter "Boom-boom" Beck or Hugh "Losing Pitcher" Mulcahy.
July 20th, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Duane "Don't Miss High" Below
July 20th, 2011 at 9:31 pm
No reply from Chris Berman yet???
July 20th, 2011 at 9:33 pm
He needs to become a submariner, so we could say Duane "Throwing From" Below.
July 20th, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Duane "the Ump said that last pitch" Below
July 20th, 2011 at 9:50 pm
you limber linguists can top my feeble phrases
Won't top this one. Very nice.
July 20th, 2011 at 9:59 pm
Hopefully this doesn't come off the wrong way, but to quote the Will Ferrell SNL Jeopardy sketch, I will offer this suggestion.
Duane Below "Me"
July 20th, 2011 at 10:09 pm
Duane "The Sky Above, the Mud' Below
July 20th, 2011 at 10:10 pm
I'll take it in a different direction:
Duane "The Bathtub" Below
Kinda works for a guy who's 6'3, 220
July 20th, 2011 at 10:13 pm
If I may quote the Oak Ridge Boys, Duane "There's a Desert" Below"
July 20th, 2011 at 10:26 pm
i hope it isn't something negative like "Below'n Save"
Or we can go with the rara nickname that is synonym of a homonym, Be-Minus
July 20th, 2011 at 10:29 pm
I like the backwards ones
Duane "The Belt" Below
Duane "Sea Level" Below
But he winner is
"Just putcha lips together and"
July 20th, 2011 at 10:34 pm
It'll be hard to improve on your first suggestion, John.
Duane "Don't Be High" Below
Duane "Six Floors" Below
Duane "Slightly" Below
Duane "The Street" Below
Duane "Pound the Zone" Below
Especially with these.
July 20th, 2011 at 11:10 pm
Duane "one above and one" Below
Borrowing from Kahuna Tuna:
Duane "six feet" Below or Duane "dig a grave and put'em six feet" Below - for when he's setting the opposition down.
July 20th, 2011 at 11:31 pm
Better not be Duane "Below Replacement Level" or he won't be around long.
July 20th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
You guys are great! The call to whimsy has been answered.
July 20th, 2011 at 11:55 pm
@11, Max -- I was hoping for a bathtub suggestion! My good friend, Alan, has told me the same knock-knock joke every year for 35 years:
Knock-knock!
-- Who's there?
Duane!
-- Duane who?
Duane the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
July 20th, 2011 at 11:58 pm
I'm also partial to Rico's "The Belt" -- you'd have to think about it for a moment to get it; and even if you don't get it, it can just serve as a mysterious (dare I say, obscure?) moniker.
July 21st, 2011 at 12:00 am
And I have to laud Spartan Bill for the high-concept "a synonym of a homonym."
(Bill, your new nickname is "The Secret of 'Nym.")
July 21st, 2011 at 12:03 am
@12, Richard -- Your idea would work especially well if Duane is ever relieved by Al Alburquerque. 🙂
On the other hand -- and maybe I shouldn't go here, but it's Whimsy Night -- I'm sort of concerned about the chance that Duane might end up in the bullpen, and someday enter a game in relief of Charlie Furbush.
July 21st, 2011 at 12:30 am
Should he become a strikeout king or a Pirate...
Duane Below the Man Down
July 21st, 2011 at 12:35 am
if the line score read "Below, Alburqueque" that would be somewhere about Las Cruces or El Paso
Or we call it Pepsi if it was "Below, Coke"
And I certainly don't even want to get into what happens after the September call-ups when it reads "Below, Furbush"
July 21st, 2011 at 1:12 am
One more before I sign off:
Duane "Cat" Below
It helps that he plays for the Tigers.
July 21st, 2011 at 5:24 am
all the good ones have been taken, but, if he winds up not being that good, "Duane Below Major League Level" is a real possibility.....
July 21st, 2011 at 5:26 am
or, if he becomes a crappy reliever, "Duane Belows Another Save".
Would almost make a decent headline.....
July 21st, 2011 at 8:49 am
John,
To keep with our inside joke of all the silly things those darn Germans say, It is a shame that Wes Obermueller never faced Duane Below.
July 21st, 2011 at 8:51 am
If he saves 20 one year and wins 20 the next: "D-Lowe" Below.
July 21st, 2011 at 8:55 am
@28, Duke -- That match-up would go down in Geschichte....
July 21st, 2011 at 8:58 am
Announcer:
"ON deck, pinch hitting for OVERbay, is UPton, IN to face BELOW who is replacing Josh OUTman, who relieved Scott DOWNs."
"This game has been up and down all day."
July 21st, 2011 at 8:58 am
He could develop a nasty sinker, become an extreme ground ball pitcher, and be Duane "What Lies" Below.
July 21st, 2011 at 9:41 am
Nothing further to add, except to note that a preposition is anywhere you can throw a cat.
July 21st, 2011 at 10:07 am
Josh OUTman
I'd been thinking about this guy recently, under the heading of "Guys who got good baseball names." Coaker Triplett is on this list, along with Ken and Chris Singleton, all the Winns/Wynns/Wynnes (Wynn Hawkins too), Wade and Don Blasingame, Josh Fields, Jim Greengrass, all the Parks and Parkers. Etc., etc.
The opposite list has to start with Homer Bailey. Man, what a bummer name for a pitcher. Others on the list include Bob Walk, both Jim Walkups, Jim Fanning, Carmen Fanzone, pitcher Dick Lines, and, if we're going to be honest about it, Johnny Bench. Frank Snook, on general principle. Nate Bump. Isn't Joe Tipton an unfortunate name for a catcher?
July 21st, 2011 at 10:24 am
@34
Under etc., etc. you can include Lee Walls, Charlie Spikes and Matt Batts.
July 21st, 2011 at 10:45 am
Kahuna/34, I think Grant Balfour is the champion in that regard.
July 21st, 2011 at 11:36 am
@34: Nick Swisher.
Duane "Below Job"
July 21st, 2011 at 12:31 pm
@34, Kahuna -- While the Cubs' Thomas Diamond seemed more like a cubic zirconia last year, Minnesota's Scott Diamond (no relation) logged a quality start in his MLB debut on Monday.
Certain bloggers are waiting breathlessly for Diamond to pitch a gem ... perhaps against Rubby (pronounced "Ruby") De La Rosa. Or win a Gold Glove or Silver Slugger award. Or at least, show a multi-faceted arsenal of pitches. Anyway, it's a good baseball name, and since he's a lefty, he'll probably get all the chances he can stand.
P.S. Whatever happened to Royce Ring, anyway? 🙂
July 21st, 2011 at 1:00 pm
@31, Duke --
-- Tom and Pat UNDERwood faced OFF IN a NEAR-perfect match-UP BETWEEN brothers FROM Kokomo, LIKE none seen BEFORE or SINCE; Tigers AGAINST Jays, scoreless UNTIL late, when Detroit got a run ACROSS on Morales's drive PAST the outfielders and OVER the fence DURING the 8th inning in a game played OUTSIDE the U.S. two weeks BEFORE Sparky Anderson was hired.
http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/TOR/TOR197905310.shtml
(So I didn't actually use them all as prepositions; sue me! BTW, it was the MLB debut for little brother Pat Underwood, and, alas, the best game he'd ever pitch.)
July 21st, 2011 at 1:30 pm
How about "The Enemy", as in Duane "The Enemy" Below?
July 21st, 2011 at 1:46 pm
@40, Drew -- That sounds good in theory. But I'd be worried that opponents could turn the nickname against him just by changing the last vowel.
July 21st, 2011 at 1:49 pm
@41, John--ouch! Hadn't thought of that. This nickname-bestowing business is complicated . . .
July 21st, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Drew -- I'm sure that if they had nicknames in his time, Sun Tzu would have said, "To know how your enemy will pervert your nickname, you must become your enemy."
July 21st, 2011 at 2:51 pm
I would like to see Below match up against Doug Fister....That would be Fister-Below.
July 21st, 2011 at 2:52 pm
That would be sort of like this game:
http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/NYA/NYA200504300.shtml
Bush vs Wang
July 21st, 2011 at 2:59 pm
(I feel as though we're teetering on the brink, but let's see where it goes from here....)
July 21st, 2011 at 3:00 pm
(At least Bush v. Wang wasn't as bad a shafting as Bush v. Gore....)
July 21st, 2011 at 3:10 pm
John, picking up on the lapidary theme of your #38:
• Beryl Richmond, 1933-34
• Hi Jasper, 1914-19
• Onix Concepción, 1980-87
• Wilferd Pearl “Fred” Osborn, 1907-09, NL outfield putouts leader in 1908
• Lloyd Opal Russell, 1938
• Jorge Rubio, 1966-67
• Richard Garnet Rowland, 1990-95
• Andy Sonnanstine (“sunstone”), 2007-present
July 21st, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Nice stones, Kahuna.
July 21st, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Teetering, indeed. Note I do it on your post, but not mine 🙂
July 21st, 2011 at 3:35 pm
Below Me Down
July 21st, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Does anyone know who led the NL in outfield putouts in 1908?
I feel as though the name is right on the tip of my tongue stud.
July 21st, 2011 at 5:15 pm
"I have just been handed a bulletin:"
Our subject's last name is pronounced "BEE-low".
http://www.freep.com/article/20110720/SPORTS02/110719051/1050/rss15
...
OK, I've tried it. It just doesn't work. And this thing has already gone too far. Once you've had Duane Below The Man Down, you can't go back. If we submit to this, what next? -- Al Alburquerque announces that both his q's are silent? J.J. Putz claims that his "u" should be a schwa sound? I won't have it, I tell you!
You all may do as you like, but I'll continue saying it the way we always have, down through these many hours that we've known him ... or of him.
As the saying goes, "When the legend becomes fact, blog the legend."
(At least, that's the way I thought I heard that saying....)
July 22nd, 2011 at 6:04 am
If I were @ a Strat-O-Matic retro tournament (I could only wish!! lol) there is no way, that I could let the dice roll, without commenting on an impending Doug Fister-Rusty Kuntz matchup......
July 22nd, 2011 at 6:39 pm
@54
Nash, my BBRef friend, let me spare you the indignity of being the last to post in this blog. I officially rate your comment as XXX. 🙂
July 22nd, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Hey, if Johnny Carson could get away with jokes about his high-school girlfriend, Emily Cockinlocker....
Anyway, a Strat-O-Matic player gets the benefit of the doubt in my book. I played many a game with the '84 Tigers, and Rusty Kuntz's .393 OBP off the bench came in mighty handy. That team had one of the best benches ever seen this side of Stengel's Yankees.